“You are the only problem you will ever have, and you are the only solution. Change is inevitable, personal growth is always a personal decision.”
I keep revisiting this quote by my mentor Bob Proctor when I feel the first niggling churning bits of fear in different situations. The fears that lie within our minds are some of the most powerful saboteurs on this planet because they never really do go away. If you allow your mind to give in to the fear, if you’re already formed a resounding ‘no’ in your head, you’ve already convinced yourself that you cannot possibly take this on due to your fear of rejection or being judged or compared. This is harmful because it reflects in your attitude, your determination to try or push harder – basically you’re giving up before you’ve even really started.
Our fears come from different sources. Here are the five that I feel are the most prominent and keep resurging. Every time they do, it is up to you to put them down.
Fear of Failure
Did you know that Dyson created over 5,000 failed prototypes before finally coming up with the bagless vacuum cleaner? Now relate that to the number of times you tried to get that promotion you wanted.
My source of inspiration at a time when this particular fear starts to kick in is to re-read about one of the greatest American Presidents to ever live – a man made by his failures; Abraham Lincoln.
If you really think about it, failing doesn’t make you a failure, it is instead the steppingstone to success. What is truly to be feared? Quitting.
Fear of Uncertainty
It may be debilitating to step into the unknown where you don’t know what might accost you. You have to trust the road even if you don’t know it, else you won’t have a chapter to write in the book that is your life. It is when nothing is for sure, that you can dream of a world stuffed with infinite possibilities. By staying in your rut, you shut that world out. By not embracing the uncertainty, you are hampering the transformation of your soul. So, swim out there in those waters. You might face off a shark, but you could also find a hidden treasure. In both cases, you’ll have earned the privilege to live with it, learn from it, and talk about it. You’ll definitely gain the maturity to tackle other situations be it in an impromptu manner or with more hindsight. Besides, do you know what I think the fear of uncertainty is? An obsession with control.
Fear of Rejection:
Rejection can be embittering, ridiculing and depressing. Or is it just a way of protecting you from making a less worthy decision about yourself? The beauty of dealing with fear, any fear is that your perspective can flip it on its head in a second!
When it comes to rejection: you’re going to get it from somewhere, so it doesn’t mean that you don’t have what it takes to succeed. You don’t need everyone to say yes to you, you just need the right person to say yes. Choose to see rejection for what it really is: guidance that better things are on their way to you.
Fear of Being Judged:
More often than not, the judgement of people is a reflection of what we put out there about ourselves. If our energies lack self-conviction, we are already sending messages out to the world about how we don’t feel we’re good enough or ready.
The fear of judgement requires a two-fold tackle: the first is building belief in your own powers to acquire the impossible – that shift in energy is powerful, positive and attractive to anyone who is lucky to bathe in it. Judgement from the ones who do matter is a guide map – it shows you where you have to work to build up on your faith. Instead of accusing them of holding you back, use their sentiments to push you forward to grow and heal.
The second part of this effort then is releasing yourself from the opinions of others, especially those that don’t matter. Remember rejection? There’s always someone who won’t agree with you. But it won’t matter when you have real faith in yourself.
Fear of Not Being Good Enough
This is an incredibly deep fear, and one that we don’t realise at times: sometimes, it is not the world that we are worried about pleasing.
It is ourselves.
We try so hard at being good enough that we often don’t realise it is precisely this message that is completely erroneous in its implementation: in saying ‘enough’ we’re already questioning on deserving what we’re working towards. The energy that should go out there of feeling good is being replaced by a more needy kind of low-level energy that repels more than it should attract and takes more effort. The idea here is not to feel that you need to prove your worthiness about taking something on, or just being yourself. Remember, you already are worthy. Now you’ve just got to feel good about the task at hand.